I’m unsure at what point in my life I stopped being able to say what I want. As a kid, I was definitely no stranger to expressing my needs (I’m sure my mum can vouch for that haha!). At some point, I lost the confidence of my younger self and became painfully aware of everything I did. My mind became consumed with what everyone else thought of me – the irony of this is that no one is paying attention to what you do because they themselves are so worried about what everyone thinks of them.
If you’re reading this article then I’m sure you can relate to the feeling of physically not being able to say what it is that you want. Knowing that you want or don’t want something but only hearing “I don’t mind” coming out of your mouth. Or, haven given away your power for so long, you have absolutely no confidence in what you do want and so you default to the “whatever you want” response. But if you’re reading this I’m assuming you also don’t want to be like that anymore, you do want to be able to voice your needs and desires. I feel you and that’s why I’ve created this list of three powerful ways to help you re-find your voice.
Get to know yourself again
One of the biggest barriers to not being able to say what you want is not knowing what it is that you do want. Years of ignoring your desires to please others meant that you now don’t trust yourself one tiny bit. You no longer believe that you’re capable of making decisions. When my friends and I get together, half the time is spent saying “I don’t mind whatever you want” but the problem is none of us knows what we want.
The only real way to improve the connection with your intuition and figure out the things you like is to spend time doing things alone. Plan a weekend where you’re not going to hang out with anyone, but that you’re going to fill with things you like and want to do. Take the time to really think what it is that is going to make you happy. If you’re anything like me where you get overwhelmed by too many choices, just pick something and you’ll soon learn whether you enjoy it or not. We have to get to know ourselves on a much deeper level if we want to be able to honestly express our needs to others.
This one might seem a little weird but stick with me. Sometimes I know what it is I want, I can literally feel the words forming at the base of my throat but my heart rate starts to increase and I feel paralysed like I couldn’t get the words out no matter what.
One reason for this could be that the throat chakra is blocked. Symptoms of this include things such as social anxiety, inability to speak your needs and desires, and shyness. A great way to help remove this energetic blockage is to sing! In your room, in the car, while you’re washing the dishes, whatever the situation try and sing more. Practice using your voice.
Be honest and say what you want
The best best best way to express your needs is to, well, express what you want. And I know you might be thinking “helloooo, the reason I’m reading this is because I can’t do that!!!” but you need to start working that muscle. Start small, just simple things like actually saying where you want to eat out. By getting comfortable with saying what it is that we want when it’s small things, we can start to build up the confidence to voice our greater needs, as well as increase that connection with our intuition.
So next time someone asks what you want to do, take a couple of breaths, ask yourself ok what do I actually want to do, what would I do if I was on my own, and whatever the answer is, just say it. Trust me, nothing bad is going to happen, quite the opposite actually you’ll get to do what you want!
You deserve to express your needs, your voice is powerful.